So it occurred to me recently that perhaps my view of the world is a little skewed with rose coloured glasses. Maybe it's just that I am too much of a hippie at heart, or maybe it's that deep down desire for the world to be a better place for my children. I'm not sure, but I do know that today's society is kind of upsetting.
I joke about wanting to find a tropical island somewhere to hide away on. I'd like to take my family and a select few friends and I'd be happy being a hermit, living far more simply than we do now. But in reality it's more than that. It's honestly a deep down wish that people were nicer. That people cared more about each other and about their actions and consequences.
It seems like everyone has gotten caught up in the 'all about me' mentality. People want bigger houses, they want more possessions and they want more money. The neighbours have that, so I must have it too, except mine should be bigger and showier, that way it'll look like I'm better than they are.
I have learned things recently that really depress me. I have learned that their are parents out there who don't care about their children and don't care what effect this has on those children. I have learned that there are people who believe violence is an acceptable answer to a spoken slur, and a whole generation agree with this. I have learned that your reward for helping someone in the street might very well be death. I have learned that if people see someone fall ill in a public place they may not help them for fear of being sued.
I AM a realist. I do understand the society we live in does not promote or favour the utopian world that I seem to desperately wish for some days. But it truly saddens me that there are so many people in this world who don't want to do good for others unless it can be shown to benefit them. I'd like to think that charity is something that good people do without wanting recognition or reward. That they do it for the simple pleasure of helping others who are less fortunate. But I have also learned lately that charity is more and more becoming another way of showing other people how 'good' you are. That you can influence other people's perception of who YOU are as a person by pretending to care about other situations....and I say pretending because those acts of charity are seemingly only done to gain recognition. If I want to be charitable I don't necessarily need other people knowing about that act, whatever it may be. The pleasure comes from knowing I did something nice, decent and downright human.
There is an organisation in my husband's hometown that promotes charity, you can check out their facebook page here. They do wonderful work and they do it without wanting recognition or reward. I just wish there were more people and more places that encourage being nice, rather than encouraging the 'all about me' society we inhabit. There really was no main point to this post, rather it was a way of me venting my frustration.
My daughter is turning 16 later this year. She mentioned to me in passing the other day that she did not want a party. The deal has been that they are allowed to have a big party for their 10th, 13th, 16th and 18th birthdays. So it's her turn this year. But she doesn't want one. And when I asked her why, she replied that she was scared to have one. Scared because she felt in today's social media age she would be unable to control who came, and she was scared of what the consequences would be. A friend of hers recently went to a party that became out of control very quickly, and a 16 year old boy was repeatedly stabbed by an 18year old who gatecrashed. He is still recovering - the Police were called, the house was trashed and over all it was a frightening experience. For some. For others it's just par for the course. Some of the teenagers who attended this party simply expect gatecrashers and alcohol.
It's a sad indictment on our society that my soon to be 16 year old daughter is scared to have what as far as I knew, every soon to be 16 year old wants: a sweet 16th birthday party. She is aware that should she have a party, she can control who she invites and who she wants to be there. But is also aware (very smartly so, if you ask me), that she cannot control what those people who are invited do. She cannot guarantee that those people won't post the details of her party online somewhere, or send a text message and invite someone else, who invites someone else etc etc. And she understands that while I will say no alcohol she can't control whether others (invited or not) turn up with something to drink, or already partially drunk....So she said no party. And it makes me very very sad.
So how do the people like me, who are greatly concerned about where our society is headed, change this attitude? How do we come to peace with the chaos that rules at the moment? Is it really as simple as one person at a time? My husband tries to console me in my moments of depression and frustration, by telling me that all we can do is teach our children right from wrong, teach them to understand and empathise with others, and show them through our actions, the way the world should be. I hope that makes a difference, I really do. I'd like to think that there are others out there who feel like I do and want to change attitudes.
In the meantime, perhaps I should paint more sunflowers, listen to more good music and smile more often at total strangers. And I should also put flowers in my hair, wear long flowing skirts and drive a Kombi Van too ;)
I joke about wanting to find a tropical island somewhere to hide away on. I'd like to take my family and a select few friends and I'd be happy being a hermit, living far more simply than we do now. But in reality it's more than that. It's honestly a deep down wish that people were nicer. That people cared more about each other and about their actions and consequences.
It seems like everyone has gotten caught up in the 'all about me' mentality. People want bigger houses, they want more possessions and they want more money. The neighbours have that, so I must have it too, except mine should be bigger and showier, that way it'll look like I'm better than they are.
I have learned things recently that really depress me. I have learned that their are parents out there who don't care about their children and don't care what effect this has on those children. I have learned that there are people who believe violence is an acceptable answer to a spoken slur, and a whole generation agree with this. I have learned that your reward for helping someone in the street might very well be death. I have learned that if people see someone fall ill in a public place they may not help them for fear of being sued.
I AM a realist. I do understand the society we live in does not promote or favour the utopian world that I seem to desperately wish for some days. But it truly saddens me that there are so many people in this world who don't want to do good for others unless it can be shown to benefit them. I'd like to think that charity is something that good people do without wanting recognition or reward. That they do it for the simple pleasure of helping others who are less fortunate. But I have also learned lately that charity is more and more becoming another way of showing other people how 'good' you are. That you can influence other people's perception of who YOU are as a person by pretending to care about other situations....and I say pretending because those acts of charity are seemingly only done to gain recognition. If I want to be charitable I don't necessarily need other people knowing about that act, whatever it may be. The pleasure comes from knowing I did something nice, decent and downright human.
There is an organisation in my husband's hometown that promotes charity, you can check out their facebook page here. They do wonderful work and they do it without wanting recognition or reward. I just wish there were more people and more places that encourage being nice, rather than encouraging the 'all about me' society we inhabit. There really was no main point to this post, rather it was a way of me venting my frustration.
My daughter is turning 16 later this year. She mentioned to me in passing the other day that she did not want a party. The deal has been that they are allowed to have a big party for their 10th, 13th, 16th and 18th birthdays. So it's her turn this year. But she doesn't want one. And when I asked her why, she replied that she was scared to have one. Scared because she felt in today's social media age she would be unable to control who came, and she was scared of what the consequences would be. A friend of hers recently went to a party that became out of control very quickly, and a 16 year old boy was repeatedly stabbed by an 18year old who gatecrashed. He is still recovering - the Police were called, the house was trashed and over all it was a frightening experience. For some. For others it's just par for the course. Some of the teenagers who attended this party simply expect gatecrashers and alcohol.
It's a sad indictment on our society that my soon to be 16 year old daughter is scared to have what as far as I knew, every soon to be 16 year old wants: a sweet 16th birthday party. She is aware that should she have a party, she can control who she invites and who she wants to be there. But is also aware (very smartly so, if you ask me), that she cannot control what those people who are invited do. She cannot guarantee that those people won't post the details of her party online somewhere, or send a text message and invite someone else, who invites someone else etc etc. And she understands that while I will say no alcohol she can't control whether others (invited or not) turn up with something to drink, or already partially drunk....So she said no party. And it makes me very very sad.
So how do the people like me, who are greatly concerned about where our society is headed, change this attitude? How do we come to peace with the chaos that rules at the moment? Is it really as simple as one person at a time? My husband tries to console me in my moments of depression and frustration, by telling me that all we can do is teach our children right from wrong, teach them to understand and empathise with others, and show them through our actions, the way the world should be. I hope that makes a difference, I really do. I'd like to think that there are others out there who feel like I do and want to change attitudes.
In the meantime, perhaps I should paint more sunflowers, listen to more good music and smile more often at total strangers. And I should also put flowers in my hair, wear long flowing skirts and drive a Kombi Van too ;)